Surviving The Holidays When Battling Depression, Grief, Anxiety
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light”. — Albus Dumbledore
The holidays are some of the worst times to suffer from depression, anxiety or to be fighting the grief monster. Unfortunately, we can’t avoid them, even if people like me are waging war against them, doing our best to not acknowledge them this year. The thing we have to remember is that we never have to face anything in this world alone. Not ever. No matter the situation.
We all have times in our lives when it seems like it can’t get any worse. The hits come from the left and then the right, and when you think you have it figured out, here comes the undercut! Ka-POW! This is usually about the time that we tend to fall into “the pit” and start to feel sorry for ourselves or go into a state of depression. We forget that all we have to do is turn on the light. What light am I talking about? The light that shines from all the people who love and support us. Do you remember the old telephone commercial? “Reach out…reach out and touch someone…call up and just say hi…you’re never too far.” Yeah, I had to have Siri find that for me, but still, all you have to do is call my name, and I’ll be there….yeah, I know, I know….a song lyric, Lacy?? How corny can you get? Well, I could go on and on, but I won’t.
We tend to forget that some of our biggest cheerleaders are the people we have a beer with on a Friday evening after a long work week. They’re the group of friends that will hop on their motorcycles on a rainy day to ride in a benefit for 6 hours to help raise money for a friend who’s battling cancer. They’re the people who show up when life hands you situations that leave you knocked on your ass, dazed and confused (I won’t even reference that movie, alright, alright, alright?). They’re your nieces and nephews who make sure you’re taken care of and have all the things you need. They’re the people that live in your neighborhood that take up a collection to help you when you’re down on your luck and need a little boost. They’re the aunts and uncles who call you just to tell you they love you and that they’re proud of you for facing this battle. They’re the people you don’t see often, but are there when you need them the most. They’re the ones that you spent time helping during a time that might seem like a lifetime ago, and in this moment of need, they’re right there to do whatever you need, no questions asked. They’re the ones who create a barrier between you and whatever may come at you while you struggle through your most difficult time. Most of the time, they aren’t the people we expect them to be. The people you think will be there in your hour of need usually tuck tail and run, or just don’t show up at all. At times, they may never even acknowledge that you’re having a tough time. Let these people go, and hang on to the ones who hold you up when you can no longer stand on your own. I mean, Buzz and Woody and the gang stuck together in Toy Story 3, even through that terrible day care. They even got help from their new friends when they were escaping. They got by with a little help from their friends, and you can, too.
It’s in these times, though, that you learn who’s really with you and who isn’t. When you’re really in a place where you need people, you will see who’s really there, and you will see the real motives of people. Cynical, I know, but I speak the truth. Some “friends” simply want the glory of being there for you in your immediate time of need, and then they disappear as soon as the glory days are over. They don’t stick it through the difficult times when you really do need them. Some friends stand by you through thick and thin, through time and space, and are there the second you need them even if it has been years and years since you have seen each other. They want nothing from you, but only want to be there for you in your time of need. Some are there for you all hours of the night and day, and will listen to you as you snot-bubble cry about the same things, over and over, because your heart is bleeding the same wounds, and you just need someone to HEAR you. Those people will be real with you and won’t sugar coat things or lie and tell you everything’ll be sunshine and roses in the morning, but they’ll tell you that they will still be there, and they’ll mean it. But there are also people who never make a peep. Those people are likely people that will never acknowledge your situation, so don’t lose sleep over them. Cut them loose, wish them well, and go on with your healing journey.
You’ll find that there are those people in your life that will genuinely be happy for you when things are good, and will cry with you and wipe your tears when things are bleak. These are the people to hold on to. These are the people who want nothing from you. These are the people that, when you hear THEY need help, you are there in an instant for them, just as they were for you, no hesitation. These are the people you have formed a bond with that no amount of time or space can break. If you are finding yourself struggling during this holiday season, I am SURE these people are there for you, so don’t forget to reach out to them. Just a simple text to open the dialog is all you need. “Hey.” will do the trick. And if you are the one receiving that text, feel honored to know that this person trusts you with their story, with their heart.
The moral of all of this…don’t struggle through things alone, especially through the holidays. No one should ever have to face anything without the support of a friend who truly has your back. You surely have at least one person who will help you get through. And if you don’t, then come find me. I’ll be there.
Love you most,
Lacy
Photo Cred to AT& T
