Sometimes, the friends we never make are the ones who lead us where we are meant to be…
If you don’t know by now, I have a deeeeeeeep passionate love of flamingos. I only “know” of one other soul that could rival my love for those bright pink birds….Gloria VanNostrand. I didn’t personally know Gloria, but I have heard so much about her that I feel like we could have been fast friends. From what I understand, she was sweet, yet feisty…loved life….AND FLAMINGOS!!!!!
Sadly, Gloria passed away a several months ago, but I was blessed with a gift from her memorial service. I was given this magnificent little flower planter by my amazing friend, coworker and blog encourager, Liz. We named her Gloria, in honor of the woman who brought this sweet little succulent plant into my life. Anyone who knows the first thing about me knows that I have a black thumb…so, Liz had the very important job of making sure that the little life inside of the porcelain Gloria stays alive. Unfortunately, the plant succumbed to “The Lacy Curse,” and did not survive, but the planter still sits on my desk and every morning, Gloria and I exchange our pleasantries.
Back around Christmas time, I had the privilege of meeting her lovely daughter, Lisa. She was bringing in donations of her mothers’ belongings for the church, and I had an opportunity to discuss grief with her for a brief moment. I could feel – quite literally – the aching coming from her. The emptiness, the big massive hole left inside of us when we lose our most dearest loved one. In speaking with her, I realized that I need to REALLY focus on my readers who are grieving, whether it be the first holiday without your loved one, or it be the 20th. It never gets better or easier. As I have said many times, we learn to adapt our lives to their absence.
Sadly, on Mother’s Day, my childhood friend, Terrica, had to make the gut wrenching decision every parent dreads and she and her husband , Ray, decided to take their son off life support after an injury left him without oxygen to his brain for an extended period of time. Of course, my grief instincts kicked in, not just as someone who feels grief on a whole new level, but as her friend for life. As her “sister.” She lost her mother just a few years ago, and now she had to make the choice to let go of her son. While the losses are both great, the loss of a child or life partner is a whole kind of different. Seeing her post on Facebook on Mother’s Day, and chatting with her on Messenger gave me that final push to do what has been stirring around in my mind.
Friends, in honor of Mark, Emily, Gloria, Cameron and all of those we have lost, I am going to do a series this summer to help us all get through together. Now, complete disclosure here, I am NOT a medical professional. HOWEVER, I am a life professional. I’ve been through more than what one person should ever have to endure in a single lifetime. And through that I have learned many valuable things…through research, reading, self-discovery and soul searching, I have learned more than any medical professional could ever know, and I know how to put it into REAL LIFE context. Saying that…. No one should have to face grief without so much as a tour guide for this emotional ride. So, all aboard Lacy’s Grief Gondola, where I will point out all the things along the way that you either need to see, hear or understand.
Please feel free to comment, email or Message me on Facebook with any questions or suggestions on things you’d like me to address. RealLifeWithLacy will have a Facebook page up and running here very soon, so be on the lookout for that! I’m here for YOU!
Love You Most,
Lacy
